I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
