redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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