Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
