i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
