Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
