Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Randomize
