I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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