I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
