I am in a vortex of obligation.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Come see our sink grown plant.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
