hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
