____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
