I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
