ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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