this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
