Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
