I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
