when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize