Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry facingtheparrot hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(828): View more from North Carolina

Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us

Fav 3 3147 1064
share tweet
(203): View more from Connecticut

The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.

Fav 6 1094 4634
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(419): View more from Ohio

I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.

Fav 37 2547 8179
share tweet
(440): View more from Ohio

I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.

Fav 10 2036 1220
share tweet
(217): View more from Illinois

4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket

Fav 11 2159 923
share tweet
(410): View more from Maryland

You threw up with your ski mask on still.

Fav 8 802 2498
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.

Fav 4 1799 812
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(740): View more from Ohio

I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.

Fav 2 21 51
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(602): View more from Arizona

At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil

Fav 0 58 5
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT