what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
