That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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