Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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