Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
