A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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