seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
