we made out on top of his cat.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
