she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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