I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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