you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
