Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
