He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
