420 ftw
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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