You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
