More tranny stories later!
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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