i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
