I hate your face
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
