I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
