My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
