We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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