he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
