Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Can you bring me the toilet please
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
is that a dick in a sweater?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
