I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
