You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
a search helicopter?!
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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