He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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