Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
