would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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