So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
