I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
