think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
He better not be in your backpack
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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