if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
