woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
