So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
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