david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
