Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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