she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
You're so nebulous sometimes
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
