Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
