is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
