You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
