I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
