Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
